Rate the beginning of my novel?

Well, I'd say that it is good. But you still need to work on it. You have wrote it out. Now let it rest for about two weeks. Then, read it again. If you think that it is REALLY expressing what you wanted to say, good. If not, alter it. In short, Its good. But you really need to work hard. I would like to read only if it will keep me at the edge of my seat till its last page. So, don't get discouraged. Try hard. Good Luck. Believe in yourself that you can do it.